NPCs say the darndest things
by file- DS
Summary: Ya know, some NPCs have some down right funny things to say that raise a few questions. How'd that guy climb through Mt. Moon backwards? You say you just cuaght your pokemon, but there are no medapod on route 4. And more. So comon and luagh!
1. Intro

_Hey guys! I've been playing back to some of my original pokemon games lately, and I've found some of the dialogue somewhat inspiring for random little one-shots. So, I'm making a bunch of random little one-shots!_

_I'm going to be going through my Pokemon Yellow, NPC by NPC, and create little stories for any characters that I deem desirable for a one shot. Most bosses, gym leaders, major characters, and people with just plain boring dialogue and stuff will be ignored for a number of reasons. The bosses and major characters already have a place in the pokemon world that's somewhat defined, so it'd be difficult to make my own gags, and past to them, without being called out on it. The ones with boring dialogue… well there's nothing to say._

_Most of these chapters will be really short, and I doubt any will even make it to 1000 words (except maybe this first one because of the long A/N), but they'll just be something I can come up with, get a chapter up quick, and have a lot of fun with._

_Also, I ask for some of you to do the same in your own way. Find any random character (preferably NPC) take their dialogue, location, sprite, team, and whatever else, and make some fun quick fic about it. Hey, if I'm correct there's actually a lass named Dawn somewhere in the southern part of Kanto if FR/LG, so you time line theorist, and people with way too much time on your hand could have some fun with turning her into the fourth gen Dawn_

_Anyway, since this is the first chapter, let's start with something totally originally, and way out there, the opening words from Professor Oak! (that was sarcasm if you didn't get it -.-)_

_Hobby ho!_

_Disclaimer: I a'be dissclaimin' dis here fic, ya see!_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Character's dialogue: Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokemon PROF! This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon! For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself… I study Pokemon as a profession. First, what is your name? Right, so your name is _. This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a baby. …Erm, what was his name again? That right! I remember now! His name is _. _! Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with pokemon awaits you! Let's go!_

_My first thoughts on the dialogue: Usual intro, so not much to say, but man, they really like those explanation marks. Also a few more grammar errors, but that doesn't matter, and I'm not one to talk._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, grandson! Can you come in here for a minute?" Oak shouted across the lab.

"What is it gramps", his grandson said, somewhat annoyed, walking into the room. "And my name's Gary! Did you forget again?"

"Of course I didn't forget your name, ummm…"

"Gary!"

"Right, Of course, Gary". Oak waved his hand. "of course I knew that!"

"Ugh, what do you want gramps?"

"Well, a new trainer is arriving today, and I want to make sure that I remember what to say. So I need you to help me rehearse".

"Yeah, whatever", Gary said, taking a seat in the lab, "just don't make it too long".

"Okay", Okay prepared himself, taking a deep breath, "Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon!"-

"Wait, you're introducing this trainer to the world?" Gary asked. Oak just nodded. Wouldn't they already exist in this world though? Why do you have to tell them what Pokemon are?"

"Well you never know what dimension these kids come from these days", Oak stated, leave Gary question whether it was time for a retirement home.

"Whatever, just continue".

"My name is Oak! People call me the Pokemon PROF!" Gary let it slide that nobody actually called him that. "This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon! For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights".

"Again, anyone in this world will know what pokemon are, gramps"

"LOOK, IT'S MY SPEECH SO STOP TELLING OFF ABOUT IT!"

"Well sorry for trying to give constructive criticism" Gary mumbled.

"I forgive you", Oak said, making Gary hardly able to restrain his rage. "Continuing; Myself… I study Pokemon as a profession. First, what is your name?" Oak stopped talking, and the room went silent.

"Go on", Gary said.

"Well, I need you to give me a name!"

"What? Why can't you think one up? Ah, whatever, Ash, or Red, or Jack. Any of those good enough?"

"Who the heck is named Ash, or Red? I'll just go with Jack. Once again;First, what is your name?"

"Ugg, Jack". Gary rolled his eyes.

"Right, so your name is Jack. This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a baby. …Erm, what was his name again?"

"WHAT THE HECK? GRAMPS ARE YOU SERIOUS!" The lab shook because Gary shouted so loud. "First you say I'm this kid's rival, but I don't even know who they are, and then you forget my name, AGAIN!"

"Oh, I'm just saying you're his rival so you both will get a good challenge and strive to be your best. And I know your name, it's… Blue?"

"GARY! My name is Gary! G-A-R-Y! Four easy letters!"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down Barry"

"You mix me up with that hyperactive, fourth gen, buffoon!"

"Oh, I'm just kidding Gary" Oak waved it off. Gary continued to grumble. "Now, finally; Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with pokemon awaits you! Let's go!"

"Well I guess that's not too bad a way to end the introduction" Gary admitted.

"Right, then I shrink them down to 8-bit pixel size, and they wake up again in their home across the street!"

Gary stared bluntly at is grandfather and finally said, "Yup, to the mental hospital we go. Follow me!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Well, there it goes. This one was a little off because it was Oak and all, but I hope it was a good intro to the idea. Anyway, new chapter soon (hopefully one where the A/N doesn't take up most of the fic), so if you liked this, then be ready for more crack, random, ridiculous stuff like it!_

_And so we go._


	2. Stand by Me

_I really didn't want to have to do this, but it seems I'm gonna make a rule here: please do not review telling me that this lacks 'Substance', it is crack, I've already warned you of that so don't get mad when you find out I'm telling the truth! Also, don't review saying that there are grammatical mistakes in the quote, I'm taking it word for word, comma for comma, from the original game text in pokemon Yellow, and I feel it's best if I leave it how it was. If I do by chance fail to copy it properly, I would appreciate you calling me out on that one._

_All that said, let's get to the very next bit, the very first thing your mom says to you (yeah, anther one with a more major NPC, but I found this one funny enough, and I haven't chosen what started I want while I'm playing through the game yet, so I didn't want to go too far from the beginning)._

_Hobby ho_

_Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon, or any of the quotes I use._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Quote (from mom): Right. All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV._

_When you examine the TV in the room: There's a movie on TV. Four boys are walking on railroad tracks._

_My thoughts: Getting parenting advice from TV? Well my parents just stuck me in front of the thing so they didn't even have to bother explaining what TV said, so makes perfect sense in my view! And as for the text if you clicked on the TV; I feel it's referencing the movie 'Stand by Me', based on a book by Stephen King. If you haven't seen it, then I'll give a brief summary. Four boys hear about a dead body a long hike away from their home, and think it would be cool to go see it. This leads to a very dangerous journey, but it helps them grow up a lot, and it becomes a major part of their lives. Also, there is a little more to the text for each, but I think it's a little irrelevant._

_Now for the fic!_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh my!" a woman said while cooking breakfast for her son, "They are going to be hit by a train!" She was watching TV as she cooked the movie 'Stand by Me' playing. "How can children be so reckless at times?" She shook her head in disapproval, "but still, it's all part of growing up I guess". She smiled, remembering her days as a young girl, always out playing with pokemon, and fighting gym leaders. "I guess it can't be helped".

She heard footsteps upstairs and soon her son came down to greet the morning. "Ah, Jack, you're finally awake". She placed his plate on the table, full of eggs and bacon. Jack took a seat and ate his breakfast. "Oak was calling for you earlier. You should go see him later".

There was no response from her son, so she was a little worried. Maybe he needed an adventure, just like the boys on TV. "You know", she started, "All boys have to leave home someday. Maybe you need to find an adventure. And Oak Is the perfect man to ask. He's willing to give dangerous pokemon to minors, and I'm sure he's got some good advice.

Her son finished his meal, then nodded and stood up before leaving the house. Once he was gone she stared back at the TV. "WAIT, WHAT AM I THINKING? HE'S GONNA GET KILLED OUT THERE! JACK, COME BACK! YOU'RE NEVER ALLOWED TO LEAVE HOME, EVER!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Well uhh… not too much comedy, but I do love the movie 'Stand by Me' so that may have gotten in the way a bit. Also, I know this one is much shorter than the first, but sadly, I think this will be more or less the average length of any given chapter. Anyway, I promise more Jokes in the next one, and less major characters. Oh, and one more thing. The main character (Jack) shouldn't appear too often, but when he does I'm probably going to avoid letting him speak, so yeah…_

_And so we go…_


	3. Pokemon Black and White

_Well, there was a bit of a break there, sorry, but most of the earliest dialogue in the game was not all that funny and I'd have to force a joke which wouldn't be very good, plus exams and all… well don't worry, I'm still here and posting, so let's get to it then._

_Hobby ho…_

_Disclaimer: I own pokemon #not intended to be a factual statement_

_Xxxxxxx_

_Disclaimer: I does not ownz_

NPC: man on second floor of museum in Pewter city.

NPC dialogue: "July 20, 1969! The 1st lunar landing! I bought a color TV to watch it!"

My thoughts: Well… the lunar landing was filmed in black and white… yeah. Also, I'm looking at this as if they are in Japan, so the landing time was something like 5:17 AM.

Xxxxx

"July 20th, 1969. I'll never forget this day, and I'll probably be passing stories of it on to the youngsters someday. Well… it's been a hard few months. Scrounging every penny, and working overtime at the rock polishing plant. But finally, we've saved the money".

He shook a small pouch of thirty-six dollars, and a couple cents. "We're landing on the moon!" He sung, walking through the open streets of Pewter.

The majority of the afternoon was spent purchasing the new, television and bringing it home.

"Daddy, we're going get to see the moon landing?" his eldest son asked when he got home.

"Ah, tonight", the man said, setting down the box. "I have to set up this brand new, huge 12 inch TV. The landing isn't going to be until very late, so we'll wake you up for it".

"Okay!" The kid took off to ply in his room.

The set up for TV took a number of hours, and an even six trips to customer support. But by about five in the morning, the system was hooked up, and set to run.

"Honey! Wake the kids!" the man shouted as he turned on the TV". He scrolled through the almost full dozen available channels. "Wow, we're getting everything! Just look at the selection! And full color too!"

He heard footsteps down the hall, and quickly tuned to the lunar landing. "Hurry, it's starting". He said, then looked at the screen to see… no color. 'W-what!'

A commentator over the TV explained, "… And remember, this is all in black and white since the color camera couldn't be used on the craft. We apologise again to all those of you who may have hoped to watch this historic event in color".

The man's jaw hung open as he stared at the disappointingly bland screen. He heard his family's footsteps making their way into the room, and jumped to the cable, yanking the cord out of the wall. 'If they know what happened, I'll look like a complete moron!' he rationed his actions.

His wife and kids walked in. "What's wrong with the TV honey?" his wife asked.

"Ah, the salesman swindled me, and sold me a broken one. Sorry kids, no lunar landing tonight".

Once the children were back in bed, and his wife asleep, the man looked at the receipt on hit TV. I read in large print, "No Refunds".

"Great", he said to himself. "Now instead of looking like an idiot… I've proven I am one".

_Xxxxxxx_

_Okay… not my best work_

_I'll make up for it with a new chapter ASAP… but before I can get more dialogue I've gotta find a way to beat Brock with just a pikachu… Dang it game, why can't I cheat using the sprinklers like Ash did?_


	4. A short one pun?

_Well here is proof that no level of stupid over done joke is beneath me. Yeah, this is among the most well know of all pokemon dialogue, and honestly, I don't get it, but I was able to come up with a BS story about it, so here we go. Oh, and some of this one may seem a little… questionable, but just keep your mind out of the gutter, kay!_

_Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah_

_NPC: a youngster on route 3_

_Dialogue: Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!_

_My thoughts: *no comment*_

Xxxxxxx

"Ah man, these jeans are so awesome! I mean, warm and comfy, does it get any better!" A youngster was walking through the streets of his home town, Pewter City, enjoying the first day of summer. "The only problem is they get way too hot in this weather!" he complained.

"Hey, kid!" a man shouted from his small clothing store.

The youngster walked up to meet him. "Yeah, me?" he asked.

"Yeah. Now I gotta presume that you're getting pretty hot walking around in jeans like that, am I right?" the man pitched.

"Well, I guess. But they are so comfortable, I couldn't imagine giving them up!"

"Well, I have a bargain for you then. Since today is the first day of summer, we have a deal on shorts! Buy twenty, get one half off!"

"That doesn't sound like much of a 'deal'", the kid questioned.

"WHAT! Are you kidding me? Shorts are the greatest thing there is! You just gotta have 'em all, you just gotta!"

"No thanks, I'm happy with my jeans".

"Just try them on; I'm sure you'll get hooked right away!"

"*sigh* fine, I'll try a pair on". The kid grabbed the first pair of shorts he could find, and switched his garb to them in the change room in the store.

He walked out to the mirror and found he liked them. "Oh, wow! These are the best things ever! I mean, I guess jeans were alright, but these are way more comfortable, and easy! They are amazing!"

"See, what I tell ya! Now, how many do you want to buy?"

After the kid bought his shorts, he started his trip home with a number of bags. On the way he found a patch of flowers where a caterpie was eating the petals. He dropped to his knees in excitement, and shouted, "Oh wow! That's the best thing ever!"

_Xxxxx_

_Ugg, exclamation point spam! Anyway, kinda random, but I just don't want to leave huge gaps in the game between dialogues, and there are only a number of truly hilarious ones, so I've gotta grab a few of these stupid ones here and there. Anyway, c-ya!_


	5. Battle of the century!

_Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember how you tried not to review four times. _

_Okay, that joke got old fast, so let's just get to it then!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon._

_xxxxxxx_

NPC: a bug catcher east of Pewter city

NPC dialogue: You can fight my new pokemon!

My thoughts: He had a caterpie and a metapod, both level 11… really dude. Oh, and since when do you catch either of those east of Pewter? Well, maybe he caught them than ran right to the battle sight, but then how were they level 11? There weren't any that strong when I was in Viridian Forest. Something just doesn't add up! Anyway, I only focus on the caterpie here since it was never stated her was talking about both his pokemon.

_Xxxxx_

'Yes!' a single caterpie thought, far above the canopy of Viridian Forest, ridding upon the back of a hardly conscious pidgey. 'I've it's been tough times, and I may not have been about to evolve yet, but this is it! I feel it, the most difficult battle of my life, coming to a close with myself as the victor!'

"Prrrrg!" the bird pokemon whined, flapping one wing ferociously to keep in the air. Its other wing was glued tightly to the side of its body by a string shot.

"Piii! Cat-catter!" The small bug warned in its native tongue. It spun around, and slapped the bird on the back of its feathery head with its tail.

In retaliation, the normal flying type did a barrel-roll, sending the green bug off its back, and into the air. 'No! If I were a butterfree like I should be by now, I'd fly out of this no problem! But without wings of my own, I have to continue to borrow this creature's!'

It shot its string shot at the pidgey, landing it perfectly on its back, then used the string like material to swing back to the creature, impacting against its head and rendering it unconscious.

As both pokemon began to plummet, caterpie quickly freed pidgey caught wing, and used its string shot again, to hold the wings out wide, making them gently sail the wind toward the ground. 'Another victory! But then… why am I still unable to evolve?'

Before the poor bug could get an answer to its question, it saw Viridian forest disappearing behind it. "PI, CATERPI!" 'Wha-what! No you stupid bird! Fall the other way! The other way!' The worm pulled persistently on the wings of its carrier, to no avail. 'Crap, we're gonna crash into that mountain!'

They glided full speed toward a rock face of Mt. Moon, with impact seem impossible to avoid. 'Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!'

At the last second before they collided, the pidgey woke up, and turned sharply away, sending caterpie careening to the ground.

'Ouch!' Caterpie hit the ground full force, then got up and looked at the pidgey flying above, chirping happily to itself. 'Yeah yeah, you're a fly type and you beat a bug type. Don't get too full of yourself!'

The bird flew off back towards the wood leaving caterpie behind. 'Wait, I didn't mean that! You're real tough, yeah! Just don't leave me stranded out here!" the bug cried after it.

Once pidgey was out of sight, caterpie started looking around. 'Great what do I do now?'

Out of nowhere, a bug catcher walks up and said, "Hey, a caterpie! I'mma gonna catch it!"

'W-what? No! I have a family you know! Well, okay, maybe just a crush… but I could have one someday!'

"Pokeball, go!" the kid lobbed a red and white sphere, which properly captured the battle weary bug. Then the kid walked up and release the pokemon from the ball. "Okay, so it says in this pokedex that you're a caterpie eh? And you're have an item! An everstone… well, if you were holding it, I guess I won't take it. Besides, I'm not even sure what it does, heh-heh".

'Wait what! I'm holding an everstone? No, take it away, please!'

_Xxxxx_

_I don't think caterpie gets much cooler than that, do you? Well, maybe I'll bring this awesome caterpie up again sometime, but for now, I'll just sit back, and hope for a few review… maybe? At least one?_

_Oh, and referencing star fox, and Jackie Chan in the same fic… yeah, I'm happy._


	6. Super hiker!

_Ridiculous pressure caught in my ear and I can barely hear. Thanks to the pain caused by this, I've taken so many Advil I may be completely stoned right now… well, since that stops any possible social interaction in its tracks, and it's perfect for writing crack, let's just write fan fiction!_

_Oh, and I think this is one that anyone who has played a first gen pokemon game has noticed, and called impossible. But we'll see aboot that (how Canadian of meh)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon, so don't bug me about – err, aboot it._

_Xxxxxxx_

NPC: a man south of Mt. Moon.

NPC dialogue: Whew… I better take a rest… Groan… That tunnel from CERULEAN takes a lot out of you!

My thoughts: Well, I think anyone who's played a pokemon game that takes place in Kanto has seen this, because the fact is, it's impossible to climb through Mt. Moon, from the cerulean side, to the Pewter side. There are ledges in the way. Now, there are two sticks I know of to get back to Pewter from Cerulean early in the game, so both will be mentioned here. Now let's go!

Xxxxx

"Step right up folks, step right up! Be the first man to climb backward through Cerulean cave and win a 1,000,000 yen prize! 100 yen to enter! No refunds!" a stereotypical carnie voice rang over a mega phone over Pewter square. "We're only looking for the roughest, the toughest, and the best competitors! Also, we accept anyone who pays the 100 yen entry fee".

"Hey boss", a scrawny kid, no older than sixteen, said to a much burlier man next to him, "you should enter! You really should, I mean you're the best hiker there is, ain't'cha! You are you really are!"

"Nah kid, I don't need the money, and that cave's impossible. This is just a scam", the man said.

"Heh, what was that sir?" the man with the mega phone and carnie voice asked when he heard the hiker. "This ain't no scam see! Ladies and gentleman, this big bloke here thinks I'm pulling a scam! Now I'm a man of honour! I wound never pull some low down dirty trick like that. But I guess I can forgive 'im, I mean he's obviously got some problem see'n as 'e's too chicken to even try!" He started to mock the hiker by flapping his arms about and make noises that compared him to a chicken.

"Yeah, he's just scared", one woman yelled from the crowd.

"Yeah! You don't have to insult this carnie sounding guy because of your problems! Besides, he's also my loan shark!" a man added.

"Hey, I'm not here to start any trouble", the hiker said, "I'm just passing through, healing up my pokemon at the pokemon center, and leaving".

"Oh yeah, well I think you just think you're too good for this, don't chya!" The man with the mega phone continued. "Too good for all of us too, huh!"

"Now that's a dirty lie!" the kid spoke up, "Hiker here would never-"

"Fine, I'll bite", the hiker interrupted him. "But let's make it a lot more interesting. I'll wager in 10,000 yen, but if I do it, then I get that 1,000,000 yen prize, and you gotta get out of Kanto for good. Bother some other region with your scum".

"Ha, if you got the cash, I'll gladly take it".

The hiker walked through the crowd, the kid following proudly behind. He reached the man with the mega phone, took out his wallet, and counted out 10,000 yen into a pouch. "There you go. I'll heal my pokemon and stay at the center tonight, and in the morning I'm doing this climb and kicking you out of my region".

He walked away, leaving a very bad taste in the mouth of the man with the megaphone.

Xxxxx

"So how you gonna make that hike, Hiker?" the kid asked once they were settled in the pokemon center on the couches.

"Heh, I don't know yet. And maybe it really is impossible to climb the two foot tall ledges on the Cerulean side, but hell if I'm gonna let that jerk of a scam artist get away with this".

"But what if you can't do it? You won't be able to show your face in this town again!"

"Relax kid", the hiker instructed, "Get some sleep. We got a long day ahead of us".

Xxxxx

The next morning they woke up and headed for the pokemart.

"Give me all the ultra-balls you have for sale. And throw in a few great-balls". The hiker dropped a pouch of cash on the counter.

"You sure you don't need any potions or anything? That cave can get pretty tough", the cashier warned.

"Nah, my Rocky's a tough pokemon. Worse come to worse we just use defence curl, and rollout our way to the closest exit".

"Okay then". The cashier threw a dozen or so balls into a sack, and handed it over the counters.

"Hey kid!" the hiker called his young companion from across the store. "Hurry up, we're leaving!"

Xxxxx

The two soon made their way to the entrance to Mt. Moon.

"So we heading in?" the kid asked.

"One sec. first we gotta visit the pokemon center that's near here".

"But we visited the one in Pewter just a last night, and we haven't had any battles since then".

"Trust me kid, I got this all figured out". He walked to the pokemon center entrance, the kid at his heel, healed up quickly, then headed out, and into the mountain.

The trip through the mountain wasn't tough. The second they stepped in, the hiker released his Golem from its pokeball, and a few mega punches, and magnitudes easily kept the wild pokemon at bay. It took less than three hours for them to get to the exit in Cerulean.

"Wow Hiker", the kid stated, "You did it! You actually did it, with no problems".

"Please, we just went through the cave. We're supposed to meet an associate or something in Cerulean, to prove we got there. Once we get to the city, we can't get back to the cave".

"So how are we going to get back?" the kid asked.

"Don't worry about it. Right now we just gotta catch as many zubat as we can".

"Zubat?"

"Yeah. You wait outside, away from the wild pokemon. I'll catch a few then meet you out there". And with that the hiker walked away, back into the cave.

The kid sighed. "What could a hiker do with zubat?"

Xxxxx

Once the poison flying pokemon were caught, the hiker met up with the kid outside. They then jumped a number of ledges down to Cerulean City. As they entered the town they were greeted by the associate they were supposed to meet, and they confirmed the two had made it.

He offered to escort them to the pokemon center, but Hiker declined without a second thought and asked for directions to the nugget bridge. He told them where to go, and the two were off, north of Cerulean.

"So… Oh, I get it!" the kid stated, while the hiker scanned the tall grass with some binoculars. "We just gotta battle until all our pokemon faint! When we white out or whatever, we'll be teleported back to the most recent pokemon center we've been to, and that was on the other side of the cave!"

"You're close kid", the hiker said, not even bothering to look up from his binoculars, "and clever too. But you're also wrong. The rule of game over only applies to the main characters. We're NPC, so we don't get teleported back to a pokemon center when all our pokemon faint".

"Well then what are you doing?"

"There are other ways to teleport… THERE!" he dropped the binoculars and sent out four zubat. The quickly surrounded a patch of grass.

"What are you doing?" the kid asked.

As if to answer his question an abra poked its head out from the grass to find itself surrounded by the zubat.

"Now, all of you use supersonic!" Hiker commanded the pokemon. Before the abra could try to escape it was bombarded with numerous sonic waves, sending it into total confusion, and rendering it unable to move.

"Kid, pass me the pokéballs!" the hiker asked.

The kid obeyed and reached into the backpack, and handed pokéballs to the Hiker one by one; Hiker quickly tossing them at the confused psychic pokemon.

It took about five ultra-balls before one finally held and caught it.

"Yeah!" Hiker shouted. "We did it!" He grabbed the pokeball and held it in front of the kid. "You see, this pokemon, abra, has the move call teleport, which brings it's trainer to the last pokemon center they visited. We use this move, and we're back on the other side of the cave!"

"Oh, cool", the kid said.

Hiker released abra from its pokeball, and then commanded it, "Teleport!" Instantly, Hiker, abra, and the kid were all brought back to the pokemon center on route three, just a short walk from Pewter.

They made their way back to the city and were greeted with open arms. The scam artist who had challenged them the day before grinded his teeth seeing them walk into town. The hiker walked up to him and snatched the prize money, and said with a wide grin, "Get out!"

_Xxxxxxx_

_Just gonna give a little self-review here. Good idea, not all that well written. Sorry if it's a little confusing at times, but it was a difficult chapter to write, and as this is crack I wasn't willing to spend another 1000 words, and an hour or two trying to fix it up. Well, I hope it was enjoyable for some people. Next one won't be as… off._

_And so we go._


	7. Writer's block

_Here's one that the anime beat me too, but I'm doing it anyway._

_Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon._

_Xxxxxxx_

NPC: bald(ish) guy in route 3 pokemon center.

NPC dialogue: Hello, there! Have I got a deal just for you! I'll let you have a swell MAGIKARP for just $500! What do you say?

-if you say no: No? I'm only doing this as a favour to you!

-if you say yes the conversion ends and you get the magikarp at a rip-off price…

-(actually, it's not the [$], but instead the sign for yen, but I can't do that, so…. Ya)

My thoughts: I just love the scams, don't I :) Honestly though, I know the anime already did this, and there's no way I could be as hilarious, or as offensive as that was, so cut me some slack on this one.

Xxxxx

"Hey! You! You with the face!" I called in my usual polite manor across the pokemon center. "Look, I got a pokemon for ya! Just slip me some cash and I'll hand this dang awesome magikarp over to yeh!"

The kid I was conversing with stumbled a bit; must have had a balance issue or something; then just ran out the door. "Eh? Guess he didn't hear me or something!"

I dropped onto a couch; my prized magikarp in its pokeball, being juggled between my palms. "Every day it's the same thing. I try to offer people a chance at a great pokemon, and they turn it down. I mean, this thing has splash attack you know. SPLASH for Mew's sake!" I sighed. "And I just want magikarp to have a good trainer. And I'm too busy, I'm an entrepreneur! I got… I don't know, plans to make or something; I haven't really thought about it yet; and I don't have time to train this pokemon! Sorry poor guy… I really want you to grow big and strong, we just need to find you a trainer".

As if on cue, a boy stepped into the center. He was completely silent as he went up to the counter and dropped his pokéballs to be healed. It's quite the relive he was so quiet; any noise beyond footsteps and he would have just been another passer-by that I wouldn't have even bothered talking to. But a kid that quiet… rose my interest a little.

I walked over to him as he took his now healed pokemon back, and clipped them to his belt. "Hey kid! I got a great offer for ya, here!" I took out magikarp's pokeball and showed the raven haired boy. He stared at it in utter silence for a second, then nodded his head.

"Okay! Now I wish I could just give you this great pokemon, but for something of such value, a price must be established, see", I bartered a litte. "Now might we say… five-hundred will be acceptable?"

He just nodded again, and took out the money, then snatching the pokemon away. I had no complaints, I was just happy to see the little guy get his adventure.

Xxxxx

I slept one more night in that pokemon center, just rest up before taking those five-hundred smackers and putting them into investments! That's the way of the businessman, invest! I hear the demand for shorts has recently sky rocketed!

Anyways, I woke up the next morning, and headed out, but that kid was still in front of mount moon. I would have expected him to be at least on the second level of it by now; maybe even in Cerulean. But nope, that chump hardly made it ten feet out of the center.

"Hey kid", I called him over, "Wha'cha doing still here? Ya training or something?"

He shook his head 'no'.

"Well is it too tough for ya in there? Ha! Common, you gotta get used to some tough stuff if ya wanna succeed as a trainer!"

He nodded, and then pointed into the cave.

"Ah, common. Is there a geodude or something in yer way? Why don't ya use that magikarp I gave ya?"

He just pointed at the cave entrance.

"Oh, fine, I'll take a looky-see fer ya!" I offered, smacking my knee. He really seemed like a nice kid, but couldn't hold his own against some wild pokemon… eh, maybe he wasn't destined to be a master or anything.

Anyway, I walked by him, and stepped into the cave and came face to face with a pokemon I'd never seen! Some kinda water dragon er som'in. And it wadn't happy.

"Hey kid! What the heck is this thing!" I looked back to the tunnel exit.

The last thing I saw was the kid point to the pokeball that magikarp had been in; before the water dragon pokemon grabbed me, and started tossin' me about. It acted like it had some kinda grudge; like it had been an abused animal or something!

Well it wasn't long before I was out cold, and next thing I knew I woke up here, in Viridian hospital.

_Xxxxxxx_

… _Okay, I really have some writer's block. Well, trust me, the early attempts at this were even worse, so I think I'm just gonna be happy with this one._

_It's actually ironic; one of the things that's distracted me from writing lately, has been thinking about becoming a fantasy novelist. Granted, the chances of that are slim; and years upon years away. Just a little dream of mine I guess._

_Well, regardless, the next chapter covers the NPC that inspired me to start this series, so THAT should be good xP Anyway, till then, hope some of you may have liked this chapters, and please review! Thx._


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